Monday, September 15, 2008

This Should Help All of You Who are Confused

I've been pretty quiet on the bloggity front, but my fingers have been in over-drive, tapperwhacking emails and forwarding anti McCain-Palin snippets to everyone in my address book, much to the annoyance of some who I didn't actually realize were Republican. Used to be you could be a Republican and we'd maybe be friends. Pretty unlikely, but maybe. Nowadays, quite frankly, I don't have the time for you. You're too fucking dangerous and your votes for Reagan, for Bush and again for Bush have damaged this country and contributed to so much horror in this world that we're through. Unless, of course, you could clear up my confusion...

A friend, Susan, sent the following on to me...

You see, I truly am a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight... (I hope I'm not offending anyone).

If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you're 'exotic, different.'

Grow up in Alaska eating moose burgers, you're a quintessential American story.

If your name is Barack you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.

But if you name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you're a maverick.

Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable.

Attend five different small colleges before graduating, you're well-grounded.

If you spend three years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that
registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor,
spend eight years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend four years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience.

If your total resume is: local weather girl, four years on the city council and six years as the mayor of a town with fewer than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive (and according to the actuarial tables, you have a greater than 30% chance of succeeding the president during your first term).

If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising two beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian.

If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a Christian.

If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.

If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state's school system while your un-wed teen daughter
ends up pregnant, you're very responsible.

If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America's.

If your husband is nicknamed 'First Dude', with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.



Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

Yes, I think I spotted the flaw in your logic - you used logic. Doesn't apply in politics. Whose backers have the most money? They are a safe bet to win.
I think Obama stands a good chance unless someone tells the voters he is black.
I am reconciled to the only signs of equality in my lifetime are likely to be Arthur Ashe winning Wimbledon and Tiger Woods winning in Georgia.

5:13 PM  
Blogger sweatpantsmom said...


(That's all I have to say. I can't look anymore. Has she gone back to Alaska yet?)

6:30 PM  

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