L.A.'s Daily Dangers...According to the L.A. Times Sunday Supplement Magazine

It most certainly caught my eye. Ever since moving here, I've tried to acquaint myself, sometimes entirely too intimately, with disaster preparedness. I religiously send my annual $25 renewal to T-CEP (Topanga Coaliton for Emergency Preparedness) and thought of volunteering Himself to the Arson Watch brigade. I fully intend to buy a disaster kit (only $25 for each family member at Von's [local supermarket]) and I have never, ever hung art over a bed headboard.

So...it was with interest that I read all "39 ways to cope with L.A.'s daily dangers. The article was divided into major headings that are very, very L.A. and each subheading has a paragraph of what to do when these things happen. They read as follows:

If Someone Steals Your: Cellphone, Identity, Mail and Screenplay. I'm concerned about all of these potential occurrences and I fully intend, at some point, to write a screenplay.

If You Come Down With: Severe Sunburn, Food Poisoning, Road Rage, Freeway Phobia. These are all concerns and I carefully read the advice.

If You're Attacked by A: Dog, Mountain Lion, Carjacker, Kidnapper, Mugger, BLOGGER. Yes, BLOGGER and MOUNTAIN LION and CARJACKER and KIDNAPPER and MUGGER and DOG were uttered in the same breath. So I read this one very carefully and this is what you're supposed to do if attacked by a BLOGGER, according to Andy Meisler. This is a straight quote. "If someone with too much time on his hands calls you something awful on his website--say, a Dale Earnhardt, Jr. groupie or a remorseless wasabi junkie--it's as libelous and as actionable as if someone called you that in this magazine. If the insult isn't that clear-cut, or you're not prepared to go nuclear, you might try a maneuver suggested by Ken Layne, editor of the news blog Sploid.com. Set up your own blog devoted to your many sterling qualities, and get all your friends to contribute. "That way, their compliments will drive the other guy's criticism way down your Google listings." Layne says." I