My Old Friends, Susie & Ellie

My mother recently asked me if I'd heard from old childhood friends of mine, Susie & Ellie. Each beautiful and smart and very important and constant friends until we all left in different directions for college. My life took a different direction to theirs and we just grew apart. Our parents moved, we moved and we just got busy with the minutae of lives. And the answer to my mother's question was no, I hadn't heard from either of them in years. I'd thought of them often, though, and hoped Susan was doing well and feared that Ellen probably wasn't.

So, acting on my mother's question, I sent a Christmas card to Susan at the last address I had for her. It was returned, unopened, with a "no longer at this address" message. I did a search online and found what I hoped was her office address, and I wrote to her. And then, a couple of days ago, she sent me an email.

Susan was well and her children and husband were doing well. Ellen, though, had died this past September. She had been institutionalized for over 30 years in San Jose, CA. I didn't know this. I strongly suspected it, but I never knew it for sure. This beautiful, beautiful young woman had grown older, just as we all had, but had never enjoyed the journey. She had never known the particularly sweet joy of motherhood or the enduring love of one man. She lived a half-life for more than half of her life. I knew Ellie was sick the last time I saw her...over 30 years ago. I suspected that she would never properly heal.

I mourn for all that she never could be. Good night, sweet girl.